You’re giving some solid advice. Brava.

I hope you don’t mind if I add some thoughts to this particular statement:

This isn’t necessarily problematic unless she has explicitly told him that she is looking to build a life with him and he either lies about his desire for commitment or continually kicks the can down the road and avoids the conversation. Then it becomes deceptive and immoral.

Also, “keeping you around” isn’t possible unless you agree to be kept around. When he’s not meeting her wants and needs (including her wants/needs of progressing the relationship toward increasing intimacy and commitment) it would behoove her to either extract herself from the relationship that isn’t working or lower her own commitment to a level that works for them both and doesn’t preclude her getting her needs met elsewhere.

Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small.

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