Your concern for the virtue of my word choice is touching and I appreciate that you took the time to respond. I believe your concern is sincere.

There was a time when I was anti-religion and sans faith. Life, to me, was random, meaningless, and cruel.

Years have passed since the events in this story took place and, since then, I’ve discovered for myself a different kind of spiritual belief system than the hierarchical religious institutions whose sanctimonious ideals I found pockmarked with hypocrisy, serving as a smokescreen for my abuse, and impossible to abide without suspending my belief in the goodness of people.

And what a relief.

I now know that God lives in the trees outside my window and the stars in the sky and every atom in between. I see God in the darkness at 2 am as I watch the rise and fall of my daughter’s sleeping chest. S/he’s there when I marvel, awe-struck, as the preemie who was 4lbs at birth and not expected to ever walk unassisted, grows so sturdy and strong that she is literally off the growth charts for her age and whose observable movements show no evidence of her injured motor cortex.

I’m so much more comfortable now in my relationship with God than ever before and I only got there by doing things like rejecting the idea that there even exist such categories as “good” and “bad” words and by refusing to believe that the importance of adhering to arbitrary rules supersedes the value in one’s good-faith, loving intentions.

I’m delighted to reassure you that I now know that God approves of each and every word I write.

In fact, S/he inspires them.

Thanks, again, for reading.

Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small. www.ajkaywriter.com

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