“Where many Medium readers fail is in making the distinction between adults acting like children and adults acting like adults.”
This. This is why that is a relevant example. Both actual minors and adults can act like children, and sometimes need to be treated as such.
When I held my ex to the words he said during his emotional tantrum (i.e. “I want a divorce”), it wasn’t moral because I knew he didn’t mean it. I knew he was throwing a tantrum. I knew he needed a mommy to tell him everything was okay, send him to bed, and rock him to sleep.
Except I didn’t want to do that anymore. Letting his decision stand was equivalent to letting my 16 year old decide not to take the test at the last minute. I had divested. I was a bad parent.
I didn’t want to be his parent any more.