— Partners, not adversaries.

— Teammates, not opponents.

— Stronger together, not struggling for power.

— Seeking to understand, not fighting to win.

— Lifting each other up, not breaking each other down.

— Challenge, not abuse.

All of those things take emotional regulation, empathy, generosity, and love…and it does take work to untangle them from our dysfunction.

But that’s the good work. The “grow together” work.

And it’s not a fantasy. It’s just not easy.


Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small.

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