Well, sister, you just melted my heart. :) Thank you for the compliments. Your piece really got me thinking and I’m grateful it did! Thank you!

I have to give you props for your willingness to see (ne’ embrace?) a counterpoint. I’d say that most people’s dial is set to defensive if someone proposes anything resembling dissent.

I assumed that you probably intended less of an in-depth analogy than that which I expounded on. It was just too delicious of a line to pass up (well done, again!) and I did have that reaction and felt it was worth sharing.

On your points, I 100% agree that being treated with respect is a hardline. But I believe that’s where agency comes in. That’s where we say, “Wait…you just disrespected me, mother-fucker. I’m out.” That’s our agency in action.

The part where I diverge is calling someone with a different set of needs disrespectful. I don’t necessarily see men who are seeking to have their sex need met disrespectful. It’s just not always in line with what I’m looking for. Next. Agency. Boom.

Re: entitlement, I’ll spare you the repetition, but I responded to Katy below and I’d love for you to join in to share your take.

I believe that you are super picky. I believe that you could’ve had second dates if you had wanted them. I believe that you were disappointed in the experience you had. All of that makes sense. I also believe you love men and, the part that I think bodes most promisingly for you, is that you seem to have a way of looking at all angles of things without adhering to a personal agenda.

I respect the shit out of that. Keep doing that. If you are able to put your desire to be successful over your desire to be right(eous), you have a leg up on most people today.

And, again…I really appreciate the feedback. It made my day. Thanks again for the spark and the note. I’m happy to continue the convo. There’s so much for all of us to learn!


Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small. www.ajkaywriter.com

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