Truth. I recently discovered that none of my previous relationships were anything other than manipulative dances, both of us trying to extract healing from the other.
If we want a healthy relationship, that healing has to be found within ourselves. We have to own our insecurities and not expect our lover to fix them. We have to manage our own emotions and not hold our lover responsible. We have to continue to grow as seperate indiviuals in order to grow together.
Recently I was taking stock of the relationships around me and realized that I couldn’t identify a single one that appeared to be a healthy vehicle for growth for the couple as individuals or together. They all seemed to be the same variety of the aforementioned manipulative dance/power struggle.
No wonder so many marriages fail. If given the chance, most people will try, whether overtly or covertly, to break out of a prison.