Thoughtful piece.

Detoxing from the dopamine is a critical first step to emotional management following a breakup, but it’s not necessarily a cure-all. It’s more like a symptom management of an underlying disease.

Especially in “toxic” relationships (which you didn’t seem to be referencing, but is important to note because those are some of the most difficult to detach from) there are likely to still be residual feelings that can be difficult to rid ourselves of unless we do the personal exploration as to why we were “addicted” to that person in the first place. Why their dope was so gloriously delicious.

There are psychological reasons that we are drawn to our exes that don’t disappear, even when we become free from the feel good rush of chemicals, and they are the same reasons that a “relapse” is so powerful.

It’s likely that our maladaptations complimented theirs. Their trauma complimented our trauma.

Sure, we can rid our bodies of the dope already in our systems, but, even after 22 days, we are likely to go looking for it in someone else. And if the relationship we just detoxed from was a dysfunctional one, it’s a fair bet that our next one will be too if we don’t a.) figure out which part of the dysfunction attracted us, and b.) do the emotional work required to process and resolve those needs within ourselves.

Dope detox is an excellent starting point, especially when we are struggling as you said to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but if we are not interested in the same kind of relationship with the same kind of person in the future, there’s still work to be done to prevent ourselves from seeking out the same kind of dope, just from someone else.

Great piece!

Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small.

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