That’s interesting. I actually included the part about him at the insistence of my lover who felt that the story of his anger wasn’t a fair representation of him without acknowledgement of what he had been through.
And he was right. I stuck to the basic facts.
Here are some details I failed to mention:
He keeps 64% of his income for himself. The five of us get a combined 36% in combined spousal support and child support— 7.2% each. Here’s what that looks like in terms of “pieces of the pie”:
If he had custody, he couldn’t get a nanny, which he would need, for that little.
I was awarded ten years of alimony because we share not one, but two children with disabilities (autism and cerebral palsy) whom I stayed home for 14 years to care for and whom have extraordinary needs which require extra attention. My 10 year old cannot take a bath by herself. My 8 year old could become paralyzed if she falls the wrong way because she has a spinal defect. They have a combined 5 hours of therapy per week that he has never, not once in ten years, taken them to. Their therapists have never met him.
He lost occupancy of his house, but not equity and when we sold it, it got his 50%, minus his past due child support balance. He tried to let it foreclose because he said he’d rather “walk away and lose it all than see [me] get a dime”. I had to petition the court, post-decree, to appoint a real estate commissioner to sell it.
And I didn’t once argue to the judge that he was after money. She came to that conclusion on her own following his testimony and after catching him in multiple lies trying to conceal his income and assets.
He didn’t get 50/50 custody because, among other parenting essentials he neglected, he failed to secure a residence prior to the trial or take more than 4 days per month of visitation, which the judge instructed him to do at temporary orders if he wanted to show he could manage 50/50. He had 7 months. He didn’t do any of it.
But I didn’t mention those things because I was not interested in portraying myself as his victim or eliciting sympathy from anyone. He has stuff. So do I. We were both hurt in the process.
If you call what happened to him getting “crushed”, then he crushed himself, right down to fucking Craigslist prostitutes while we were married, which was the initial tipping point for our divorce.
He did not behave like a man who wanted to stay married. He asked for a divorce. I have him what he said he wanted.
I got the implants for him 13 years ago after having two of his babies. I was ready to take them out.
I understand that my explant likely hurt his feelings. I have to focus on me now.
It sounds like your divorce was difficult on you and that you are projecting your frustration from its source, the courts, onto women.