Maybe re-read it again.

Nowhere in his piece did Thomas say that he wouldn’t have allowed her to end the relationship, which it seems like you are inferring. I wholeheartedly agree with you if that is your intent. No one has the right to keep anyone in a relationship against their will. That is never, ever okay.

That being said, you state that no one gets to “allow” someone to make decisions about ending the relationship (in an emotionally distraught state, which is what Thomas said) and I would contend that making said allowances is something we are constantly doing in relationships. We all have boundaries (or we should). We choose what we let in and how we interpret statements and what we choose to do with them.

My ex-husband did a similar thing: he stated he wanted out of our marriage during an emotional breakdown and I allowed the comment to stand as a legitimate statement of his intentions. He retracted it later. I disallowed him to do so. The comment stood and we got divorced.

Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small.

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