It’s awesome when people learn to be the architects of their own happiness. The default relationship setting (i.e. mutual monogamy) doesn’t work for everyone, and that’s okay. People would be a lot happier (IMHO) if they were willing to grow with their partners and find relationship parameters that really work for both of them.
In my current relationship, I am monogamous to him, but he isn’t to me and that works for both of us. In this moment, I can’t fully meet his needs…I’m working out some personal challenges. But, on the flip side, he meets mine and I don’t want anyone else right now. It’s not a tit for tat situation. I feel compursion for his happiness, just like he did for me late last year when the arrangement was flipped. It doesn’t make our relationship any less important or intimate. It makes it tailored and satisfying.
Thanks for writing this. There’s a lot of “Girl…you should respect yourself” flying around my world and the reality is that not committing to meeting someone’s needs when I’m not in a place to do so is about as respectful to myself as it gets. And to him.