I want to challenge you with a few questions because I believe ‘Finish line syndrome’ is a symptom of a dying relationship.

The job wardrobe switch makes sense — you don’t have that job anymore. And if you had always had questionable hygiene — and that worked for your partner somehow — even in the early stages of your relationship ship, well, that wouldn’t necessarily make sense to me, but at least it would be consistent.

Sexual attraction is important in sexually exclusive commitments.

You say you know he’s still attracted to you because you still have sex, (assuming you are in an exclusive relationship), what choice does he have? If he came to you tomorrow and said, “Babe, It seems like you’ve given up on your appearance and I’ve been picturing Becky, Dan’s wife, every time we have sex in order to get it up. I need you to step it up in the looks department or this doesn’t work for me anymore”, would you be offended?

It’s true that we grow and change. We all get older. The changes in our bodies tend to make us less attractive v. more … but those are changes that are fundamentally out of our hands. Functional disability aside, hygiene is not.

Why aren’t you interested in being attractive to him anymore?

I think, for the sake of your relationship, it’s a question worth consideration, right along with, “Is unconditional love really a thing between two adults with agency?”

Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small. www.ajkaywriter.com

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