I think you have a legitimate point and I echo your concerns.

I have read all of the comments and I think they are missing the point. Having a dinner at which the primary entertainment is tearing down husbands and perpetuating anger and resentment toward them…who is that good for? How does that make the situation better? Those aren’t friends. Those are miserable women who love company.

Street harassment and violence against women are a real problem. But how is that relevant to the bad-mouthing of one’s chosen life-partner and teammate?

It sounds like a dumpster fire of misery and contempt.

And I see it, too. Even on Medium. So many articles about how awful men are. There is, indeed, a societal problem with the way we raise men, but I don’t believe it is characterized accurately. The cause and effect are all fucked up. I think that men are angry and sad and live in a society where their feelings will never been validated and are far more likely to be shamed. Men are people. Humans. They deserve solutions, not derision.

Good friends want to make each others’ lives better. Your friends are making each other’s lives worse. My advice would be to get new friends. I did. I realized that the women around me weren’t making me a better person. These women sound like women who would rather be victims than exercise the agency they have to effect change on their circumstances. You can be better.

Let them throw you out of the tribe. Make your own tribe consisting of women who love their partners and actively work to improve their relationship. Those kind of successful women will make you better.

Men are not the enemy. We, as a society, have social problems to solve but we aren’t going to get there by banging the “Men are the worst!” gong at every opportunity.

Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small. www.ajkaywriter.com

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