I think a lot of women struggle to admit to men that they have a desire for rough sex.

I totally get the male” pillow queens” who want to feel so desired that they are “taken” by their woman. That is a central reason that some women love being ravaged as well. It’s falls in line with the idea that she is so goddamn sexy that her man simply cannot control himself around her. He has to have her now. It’s very validating to her feeling of attractiveness.

Along with the validation, the rough sex also has the component of domination, which is kind of a seperate thing. Submission can make a woman feel both primal and safe. She can be safe expressing her most primal and vulnerable (and sometimes shameful) desires with her partner and, in turn, feel sexually fufilled. She can also be kept literally safe in the world, protected by a man who is physically dominant.

Sometimes women want the validation, sometimes they want the submission, and sometimes the two things intersect.

This admission can be difficult for us, when we are told by our sisterhood that we should be empowered and equal and never submit to a man, to come to terms with our very primal urge to, say, be chased down in the forest by a warring tribe’s leader and taken by force as his princess (not that I’ve ever worked that angle. That’s total fiction. ;)

As an extension of this, many women want their men to be more leaderly in their lives, although this is even harder to admit. A little more on this here —

What’s my point? I would guess that more women want rough sex than will admit it outright. If you feel you’re not getting enough sex or your partner seems unfufilled, it might be worth a shot. You might find that it works for both of you. Per the article, 75% of men want sex to be “rough”…I would contend that the percent of women who want it is even higher, simply based on my experience in my lady world.

They just don’t know how to express it. They want you to lead them to it.

Feels like a case of “give the people what they want”.

Food for thought.

Mama, writer, lover, fighter — I wear my heart on my sleeve because my pants pockets are too small.

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