A few ideas:
1.) Love is a verb, not a feeling. It’s putting yourself at emotional risk for the benefit of someone else.
Love as a “feeling”, is the effects of dopamine and oxytocin. And that’s about you, not your partner.
2.) People are responsible for their own feelings. Full stop.
3.) Jealousy is not only about insecurity and fear. It’s also about possessiveness and selfishness.
4.) The only person you have the ability to trust in relationships is yourself. Any beliefs you have about your partner’s future behavior choices are based on faith.
You need to trust your ability to enforce your boundaries and your ability to be okay, regardless of the choices your partner makes (which you can’t control).
5.) Attempting to control your partner is a recipe for misery.
6.) The goal of relationships is not to avoid negative feelings at all costs — it’s to help each other grow and find meaning in life. That kind of growth requires challenge, which requires negative emotions.
The alternative is co-dependence.
A lot of these ideas seem to run counter to the ones you expressed. Any thoughts? 🤔😊💡